I Like the Part Where

Yeah, Ryan snapped at me. But there was this tinkle in his eye,...

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 19:11:38 +0000

Yeah, Ryan snapped at me. But there was this tinkle in his eye, that I picked up on, which said, “Dude, we’re friends. I’m doing this for appearances. I am the big boss now. And I have to seem like an ogre. But you know me, and you trust me and we like each other. And we’ll always be friends. And I would never take you for granted in a million years. And I miss you, man, and I love you”… His words.

I’m not superstitious - but I am a little…stitious.

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 16:57:31 +0000

I’m not superstitious - but I am a little…stitious.

Photo

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 00:05:24 +0100

Wait a minute, Dunder Mifflin already has a website and quite...

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 10:59:46 +0100

Wait a minute, Dunder Mifflin already has a website and quite frankly, I don’t see what’s wrong with it.

Narrator: (Tobias listens to a day’s worth of his own words to...

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 18:01:41 +0100

Narrator: (Tobias listens to a day’s worth of his own words to see what Michael was referring to.)
Recording: “Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.”
Tobias: Nothing wrong with that.
Recording: “I’ve been in the film business for a while but I just can’t seem to get one in the can.”
Tobias: Out of context.
Recording: “I wouldn’t mind kissing that man between the cheeks, so to speak.”
Narrator: (…and he realized there was something distinctive about the way he speaks.)

tvquotes: fuckyeahtvshows: Intern #1: I learnt that a company...

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 15:24:54 +0100

tvquotes:

fuckyeahtvshows:

Intern #1: I learnt that a company can describe their internship as: full of exciting experiences. Even if that’s a lie. There’s no regulation.
Intern #2: I learnt that half these peoples’ email password is ‘password’.
Intern #3: I learnt that a ream of paper is 300 sheets.
Intern #2: I thought it was 500…
Intern #3: Oh, I guess I didn’t learn anything.
Intern #1: I learnt that if you look a tiniest bit like Jet Li, Michael will call you Jet Li all summer.
Intern #2: Julia Stiles.
Intern #3: Alan Thicke.

- The Office US, 6x01, Gossip

tvquotes: itsalwayssunny: Charlie: What I say is the law. I’m...

Sun, 20 Sep 2009 14:44:06 +0100

tvquotes:

itsalwayssunny:

Charlie: What I say is the law. I’m the boss of both of you now.
Dennis: What are you taking about, man?
Dee: Why are you standing like that?
Charlie: ‘Cause I’m your big brother, dude, and I’m the boss of you.
Dennis: Where is this coming from, man? You are not our big brother.
Charlie: Yes I am! So get me a beer, little bro, before I give you a serious noogie!
Dennis: Dude, I swear to God, if you try and give me a noogie, I will yank your underwear over your head so hard, your asshole will rip in half.
Mac: Hey-O! What’s up, bitches?
Charlie: Mac, can an asshole rip in half?
Mac: Like tissue paper.

George Sr.: I haven’t had sex in a month.Michael: You know,...

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 21:19:43 +0100

George Sr.: I haven’t had sex in a month.
Michael: You know, you’ve been here two months.

Photo

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 21:19:30 +0100

G.O.B.: So you came back here to hide like a child.Michael: What...

Sun, 13 Sep 2009 16:57:40 +0100

G.O.B.: So you came back here to hide like a child.
Michael: What are you doing locked in my office, exactly?
G.O.B.: Hiding from a child. Big difference.
Michael: G.O.B., Steve Holt is your son. He probably just feels a connection.
G.O.B.: He doesn’t know what he feels! I’m tired of being told…my God, what is this feeling?
Michael: Well, you know the feeling that you’re…that you’re feeling is what many of us call “a feeling.”
G.O.B.: But it’s not like envy, or even hungry.
Michael: Could it be love?
G.O.B.: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it’s the opposite. It’s… it’s like my heart is getting hard. Maybe I am ready to be a father.

As a farmer, I know that when an animal is sick, sometimes the...

Sun, 13 Sep 2009 00:27:33 +0100

As a farmer, I know that when an animal is sick, sometimes the right thing to do is to put it out of its misery. With the electricity we’re using to keep Meredith alive, we could power a small fan for two days. You tell me what’s unethical.

fffriends: 5x11 TOW All The Resolutions Chandler: Ross is...

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 12:06:45 +0100

fffriends:

5x11 TOW All The Resolutions

Chandler: Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? Someone comment on the pants!

Rachel: I think they’re very nice.

Monica: I like ‘em.

Joey: Yeah!

Monica: I like them a lot.

Chandler: That’s not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don’t generally wear these types of pants. You see, they’re very tight. Maybe there’s something in that area.

Ross: Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there’s this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself, “Wow, I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before.”

Chandler: Oh come on!!

What seems to be the officer problem?

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 00:23:36 +0100

What seems to be the officer problem?

Phyllis: Sorry I didn’t know you guys were in here.Jim:...

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 17:58:08 +0100

Phyllis: Sorry I didn’t know you guys were in here.
Jim: Ohh no, we’re just sittin’ here.
Phyllis: Couldn’t see your hands.

hunsonisgroovy: Why Do People Run From Me?

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 02:48:06 +0100

hunsonisgroovy:

Why Do People Run From Me?

Mr. Garrison: Now when I want you to hand in your work, I may...

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 02:27:38 +0100

Mr. Garrison: Now when I want you to hand in your work, I may say, “Hand in your shit”.
Filmore: What about, “I have to take a shit”?
Mr. Garrison: No, Filmore! You can say, “I have to poop and shit”, or, “Oh, shit, I have to poop”, but not “I have to take a shit”.

GOB: You mean the guy we’re meeting with can’t even grow his own...

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 02:25:05 +0100

GOB: You mean the guy we’re meeting with can’t even grow his own hair?! Come on!
Michael: It’s called alopecia…

Then, mistaking a group of garishly dressed men for pirates,...

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 00:45:26 +0100

Then, mistaking a group of garishly dressed men for pirates, Tobias boarded a van full of homosexuals.

Ms. Choksondik: Alright children, in lieu of the common usage,...

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 19:13:52 +0100

Ms. Choksondik: Alright children, in lieu of the common usage, I’m supposed to clarify the school’s position on the word “shit”.
Stan: Wow! We can say shit in the school now?
Ms. Choksondik: Yes, but only in the figurative noun form or the adjective form?
Cartman: Huh?
Ms. Choksondik: You can only use it in the nonliteral sense. For instance, “That’s a shitty picture of me” is now fine. However, the literal noun form of “This is a picture of shit” is still naughty.
Cartman: I don’t get it.
Stan: Me neither.
Ms. Choksondik: The adjective form is now also acceptable. For example, “The weather outside is shitty”. However, the literal adjective is not appropriate. For example, “My bad diarrhea made the inside of the toilet all shitty and I had to clean it with a rag which then also became shitty”. That’s right out.

I’m thirty. Well, in November I’ll be thirty.

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 19:08:19 +0100

I’m thirty. Well, in November I’ll be thirty.