I’m a dirty hobbit and she’s a sexy elf so she might be… “‘Ohh! You dirty hobbit. Take off my bodkin and my jerkin.” Oh, yeah…pixie ears. But that sword. What if she was a hobbit slayer? I’d just use my enchanted amulet. Yeah. Yield to me, hobbit-slayer. You will touch my magic cock
Brilliant Mark. My mate and your woman have just gone off to fuck each other. What are we gonna do now? Go and make a tent in the living room and eat Dairylea? Is that what you want? Because that’s what’s gonna happen.
Interviewer: Do you have any experience in this field?
Jez: Er, I’ve done quite a lot, actually. I mean, not formal filing but alphabeti-pi-cising the videos, doing the spices…I’d want to build on that experience in a professional…zone. Sphere. I meant sphere. (God, that sounded amazing.)
(I’m gonna blow this gaff wide open.) Uh… yeah. I spent, uh, some time with Ray before he… went and I just wanted to say that, um, I think we should all remember that Ray, by the end… he loved Jesus. Now I know, Liz, there’s no proof for Jesus, but then there’s no proof for lots of things like science or the stock market and… we believe in them. Look, what I’m trying to say is that if I was dying and I decided that even though I’d never particularly been into say, uh… Enya before, but that now I really really was into Enya and that in fact I thought Enya was great and that Enya died for our sins and I wanted an Enya themed funeral with pictures of Enya and lots and lots of mentions of… Enya. Then I think it would be a bit bloody rich for my sister to ban all mention of Enya from my funeral! Yeah?
Mark: Hey Soph..it’s good to hear your voice. I know it’s only a recording but you have got a bloody nice voice and…God, I just called up to say hi and then…#then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like…I like you?# I mean, not that. But anyway…I noticed that the paper in the photocopier is running a bit low so…I know it’s not really your job but…you know, so… See you tomorrow….
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Oh, fuck!
Jez: Oh, my God.
Mark: Jesus! I’ve really fucked it. Have I fucked it?
Jez: Maybe it was…charming.
Mark: It was the behaviour of an oddball.
Jez: No, not an oddball. A maverick. You may not play by the rules, but…by Christ, you get results. Come on..let’s go get a drink.
